Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
