because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
