I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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