I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
