I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
