Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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