Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
