idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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