sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
