After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
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I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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