I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
