i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
