oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish i was in the wii world.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize