the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
