my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
my liver is dry heaving
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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