i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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