We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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