Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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