I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
