I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
