Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This is the high leading the old right now
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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