garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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