also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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