is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
