i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
