OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
