Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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