As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
