I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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