spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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