So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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