So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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