So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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