...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
