I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
COCAINE IS GR8
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
