i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
