Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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