I am puke
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
