So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
