Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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