You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize