I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
