I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
