whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
