I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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