I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
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long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
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Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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