i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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