4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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