You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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