Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
