Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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