i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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