Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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