good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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