That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
