Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the day after is always just damage control
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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