We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
