So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she told me i tasted like america
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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