i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
