go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
