I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
