the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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