Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
