My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My vagina just clenched in fear
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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