I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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