Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
