Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
