a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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